Member-only story
Lessons from my Mentor: You Can’t Trust Insecure People
I was upset.
I was being shut out from a part of my job that I enjoy, that I’m skilled in and trained for, and for reasons that seemed illogical — someone else wanted ownership.
That is, they did not want to share.
I was in a tiny WeWork phone booth, wrapping up a call that started with this person telling me the topics I wanted to cover were “typically part of my job, not yours”, when I texted my mentor.
“Aaaggghhhh are you free for 5 mins?”
“Yep — zoom link?” He’s the best.
Trying to be diplomatic I explained, “This person doesn’t know me well, doesn’t have a reason to trust me, and obviously thinks I’m going to take the reins away from them and steer us in the wrong direction. I understand that, but if I have to keep fighting them, then I won’t be able to deliver. I can’t do my job”
My mentor told me something I’ll never forget.
First, this person’s resistance is likely coming from insecurity.
Despite many years of experience, my mentor noted there may be reasons this person feels insecure. For example, I have certain formal degrees and training that might make them feel vulnerable.
